


Rusting Hearts

by acciss



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 03:08:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10427787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciss/pseuds/acciss
Summary: She wanted to stay there, frozen like that forever. If it meant that she’d never feel anything but this tender euphoria, she’d happily stay suspended there for the rest of her days.Sayaka, Kyoko, and a fleeting moment of serenity.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is set during episode 9 of the anime!

A few moments before she died, Kyoko whispered a private prayer.

_‘Please God...look at the life I’ve lived. Please, let me have a happy dream, for once in my life.’_

Kyoko had always been a religious girl- though not many would have guessed it, considering the life she led now. But no matter how many prayers she said, whether whispered fervently in a desperate moment of anguish, or spoken on bended knees with hushed reverence at a church’s altar, it seemed that no one ever listened. Somewhere along the way, she had accepted that she was alone. That she would never rely on anyone, neither human, magical girl nor deity, to protect or support her. And equally, she would never do the same for another. As such, she stopped praying. It had been a hard habit to break at first; a prayer in the morning, at meal times and before bed had been routine for her since she learned to speak. But God had never done anything for her, despite her pleas- so why should she do anything for him?

But desperate times call for desperate measures, and as she and Madoka plunged through the flooring of Sayaka’s labyrinth, she had never felt more hopeless. She fell back on prayer the way one well into their adult years might reach for their childhood blanket in a time of distress; it was her last console. A part of her hoped that it might, just this once, offer her some salvation too.

She saw Homura holding Madoka, and she knew then what she needed to do. She wouldn’t let Sayaka go on like this- only half alive, living just to destroy the things that she once loved the most. Whatever about herself; having learned the ultimate fate of magical girls, she had since resigned herself to her destiny. But Sayaka was different. She was just like Kyoko had been in the beginning, full of hope and love. Maybe in some way, she had been stronger than Kyoko: her hope, her love for the world was so great that she would rather die than see herself become jaded and selfish. Kyoko had just learned to hate in place of loving, became indifferent in the face of suffering. But Sayaka had given her a second chance. Kyoko would exhaust the last of her soul gem in defeating Octavia. At least this way, Sayaka could quickly find the stillness of death, rather than go on half alive, inflicting pain and despair wherever she wandered. Knowing that she could accomplish something before she departed brought her a sense of calmness that she’d been longing for. She bent down, clasped her hands together and silently repeated her prayer to herself before landing the final blow on Octavia. Both the witch and Kyoko’s soul gem shattered, shaking the earth.

It seemed that Kyoko’s prayers had finally been answered. The last wave of pain passed, and no longer was she being pierced, torn, burned, seared, scorched... she felt weightless. She opened her eyes. Things were murky, but she realized that she was underwater. She slipped deeper through the waves; she had never been anywhere quite so still. It really was a dream, a happy dream, just like the one she had asked for. She caught a glimpse of blue hair swirling and twisting with the water’s motions, and she instinctively propelled herself forward. There was Sayaka, floating motionlessly. Kyoko thought she was dead, but as she neared her Sayaka extended both her arms. Kyoko caught hold of her, pulling her closer. She smiled. For the first time since she was a child, her mind was clear of the buzzing, the unsettled discord that had so long consumed it. No memories of stained-glass windows and blood-stained carpets, no echoes of her sister’s laughter or her mother’s sobbing.

Sayaka’s gaze settled on Kyoko, and a soft smile bloomed across her face. It was a smile of realization, the kind that came to pass when you found an answer you’d been looking for for a long time. Sayaka was realizing that what she’d chased after so listlessly, that she felt she was missing, that had led her down this dreadful path to begin with, wasn’t where she had believed it to be. With Kyoko, Sayaka too had finally found her peace. Kyoko saw a glimmer of sadness pass over Sayaka’s eyes, and she knew what Sayaka was thinking.  
‘If only things had been different... if only we’d had more time...if only I’d realized sooner...if only I wasn’t so stupid.’ Kyoko too was tempted to dwell on these thoughts, to lament how cruelly life had treated them. To have considered her an enemy, only to realize moments before death that there was no one in the world who was dearer to her...the world was merciless.

But no, Kyoko thought, this isn’t the time. They were here together now, and nothing else should matter. She reached a hand up to Sayaka’s face and gently stroked her cheek. Sayaka, brought back to the present by Kyoko’s gentle embrace, reverted her gaze to her. A smile once again spread across her face. The two girls drew closer to one another, so that their foreheads were touching. They giggled gleefully; it was easy to forget how young they really were. Here, despite all of the despair they had shouldered when they were alive, they were allowed to be girls. Not magical girls, just two girls enjoying the frisson of their first love. Sayaka’s laughter rang out in the water like a bell, and Kyoko knew then that if there was a heaven, that’s where she was. She stroked Sayaka’s cheek again and smiled. She closed her eyes, and Sayaka then did the same. Kyoko leaned in closer, and they kissed. She’d never known happiness like she did in that moment. She wanted to stay there, frozen like that forever. If it meant that she’d never feel anything but this tender euphoria, she’d happily stay suspended there for the rest of her days.

Kyoko tries to open her eyes again, but finds that she can’t. Or perhaps she can, but her surroundings are simply too dark to notice the change in light. Her thoughts are murky, obscured by the all-encompassing darkness in which she has been consumed, but she manages to string together enough to conclude that she has become a witch. She no longer has any grasp of time, or space; all the world has converged into an expansive desolation. 

She regains some feeling when she enters battle, but all she experiences is a droning, dull pain. Sometimes, she can vaguely hear cries, high pitched voices that seem to be rallying her to something. One of the words that they often call resonates vaguely in her mind, but she can’t recall what it means. Still, hearing those voices is the closest she comes to feeling emotion again. Whether it’s love, hate or sadness that they evoke in her she can’t tell; but there’s a dull sense of longing that sometimes rises up when they call to her. Kyoko has no memories, no thoughts, no aspirations. But occasionally, images will float by, like diamonds in the rough of her shadowy consciousness. A cross necklace, a shiny red apple, strands of blue hair; she can’t recall what any of them mean, but they rise to the surface, and seeing them vaguely reminds Kyoko that she used to be human, that she used to feel, that she used to love.

**Author's Note:**

> When Kyoko refers to voices that she hears in her witch form during battle, she’s talking about Homura and Madoka: I decided to have them try to save her the same way that Kyoko and Madoka tried to save Sayaka. Unlikely Homura would agree to do that since she's aware that it would be futile, but I just wanted them in there somewhere, haha
> 
> This is the first fic I've written in about......9 years? At any rate, it's a depressingly long time since I've written one, so I hope it was enjoyable!


End file.
